I should have written this a long time ago but thought I should wait just in case he showed up outside my house with a boom box above his head and made this story a lot more interesting. But alas, he did not. I am officially free of this horrible man with his “how to text your way to sex” ebooks and “you’re too newly married to realize how amazing I am” comments.
Gah. I’m going to miss that guy so much. And by “miss” I mean “shop at a different Whole Foods so I don’t have to worry about running into him.” <— But who am I kidding, he hires 20 year old girls from Craigslist to do his grocery shopping, just in case they might also fall in love.
So here’s how the quitting went: I was a total coward about it. Wait, wait— let me reframe this. I was a total NINJA about it.
I waited until 8PM on a Thursday to sneak back into the office and pack up all my stuff. I didn’t want to brag about this before (I totally wanted to brag about this before) but I had a pretty kick-ass office. Nice desk, view of the mountains, a person to bring me coffee. But let me tell you: The exchange rate between “I feel fancy” and “I spend 50 hours a week trying not to murder this person” is not favorable for people with even the slightest desire to maintain their mental health. [Read more…]
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