If you’re like me, you have absolutely no intention of doing ANYTHING at work on Monday. Sure, that might be an “Every Monday” phenomenon, but today is different– it is the Monday before a holiday.
Sometimes it’s hard-work to not-work, but years of doing the bare minimum has made me something of an expert– Read on for the top 8 ways to pass the time while stuck at work:
#1: Become Invested In A Conspiracy Theory (Estimated Time Waste: 2 Hours)
This is my most tried and true method for burning a few hours at work. If you’re new to this, then start with a classic, like how the British government is responsible for the death of Princess Diana or JFK killed Marilyn Monroe.
There’s a woman I work with who hasn’t responded to a single email in the last year because she’s too busy trying to find out wether Sandy Hook may have never actually happened.
#2: Argue With People On The Internet (Estimated Time Waste: 3 Hours)
Step One: Pick one of the following memes:
Step Two: Post it to Facebook/Tweet it/Forward it to all your e-mail contacts with an admonition to forward or else be cursed for 7 years.
Step Three: Swap hate for hate, use lots of ALL CAPS, and lose faith in humanity
#3: Think About LOST (Estimated Time Waste: The Rest of Your Life)
At most, we get 90-something years on this planet– 7 of these have already been lost to endless ponderings about what the hell was happening on that island. Following the world’s most disappointing Series Finale, we were told that “whatever happened, happened.”
What! Why is Desmond all special and why is Walt all weird? Why does the statue only have four toes? Did that bird really scream Hurley’s name? Why do Sayid’s lovers keep dying? Who is flying over the island and dropping Dharma supplies if the Dharma Initiative is gone and the island is moving? Where did the first people on the island come from? Wait… What?
#4: Find Out Which Game of Thrones Character You Are (Estimated Time Waste: 20 Minutes, still worth it)
I took this quiz from Buzzfeed last week and learned that I am Arya— a surly little girl who wields a sword, is oft mistaken for a boy and whispers the names of people she wants to kill while falling asleep every night.
#5: Go Exploring (Estimated Time Waste: 1 Hour to Times Up & You Are Eaten By A Monster)
This may not be applicable to everyone but I was peering through a boarded up window in my building at work and I definitely saw a staircase leading DOWN below the first floor. What! Now I just need to figure out who to sweet talk in order to get down there. If I’m not eaten by those cave creatures from The Descent then I’ll be sure to let you know how it works out.
#6: Write Haikus (Estimated Time Waste: 1 Hour)
Many of the above tips may not be as relevant if you work in retail/food service/jobs that don’t allow you to sit on your arse. But haikus are ALWAYS an option. These stunted little poems are the only thing that got me through 5 years of working for AT&T.
#7: Create “Found Art” (Estimated Time Waste: 90 Minutes)
Another option for everyone– look around you and seek the beauty of life. Breathe new inspiration into the innocuous and create a meaningful piece of art with “found” items.
#8: Watch This Gif Over And Over (Estimated Time Waste: I need a cute little sheep, and time no longer exists)
What do YOU do to pass time at work? Do you buy into any conspiracy theories? Have you any haikus to share?
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