I was on Twitter the other night, hashing things out with one of my sister wives—Angelle. She’s one of my go-tos for venting, philosophizing, and conspiring but our banter was amplified all the more because I had a fever at the time.
Twitter + Fever = PURE UNADULTERATED MADNESS.
Angelle mentioned her latest post where she was battling snow and boredom by inviting her readers to ask her whatever random questions struck their fancy. My fever really really liked the sound of this.
I’ve toyed with a similar idea—especially after something mildly amusing/upsetting happened a few weeks ago when my Cross Examination posts went sort of viral on Reddit. I went into a movie with The Boyfran and when I came out, my blog had blown up with over 24k new visitors.
Thankfully, they kept their discussion and insults mostly on Reddit and not in my comments feed. It was a learning experience, to say the least. What did I learn?
“I don’t believe a word of it.”
“This is pure fiction.”
“A restraining order can’t be overturned, this is all fake.”
“I think this woman has a goiter on her neck.”
And, of course, my personal favorite:
“This girl thinks up a whole adventure where she has to walk to Mordor and throw Virgin Mobile USA in a volcano with her ragtag group of a snickering judge, a mean black lawyer that she can banter with and a whole bunch of other misfits to banish the serial killer she outwitted in the previous movie. Also there might be a fighting scene where she wrestles an ex con to the ground.”
I had to resist the urge to stomp in and start defending myself– it really wasn’t worth the time or effort. But it got me thinking… What if some of my regular readers have similar doubts or questions? A few of you have speculated that I’m the alter ego of an established writer or some sort of middle aged man in a cabin, writing this blog as a creative outlet. Wouldn’t that be the ultimate twist?
To defy such theories, I’ve decided to join Angelle for a joint “Ask Me Stuff” venture.
Here’s how this will work:
You get to ask us whatever you want—though we reserve the right to ignore anything too pervy/requests for social security numbers or home address and which window is our bedroom.
It’s possible that a caste system exists so if a particular question is asked a lot or gets retweeted then it’ll likely end up at the top of the list. It’s also possible that I will immediately regret committing to this because twitter/the fever came up with another idea:
We will answer your questions in a VLOG.
Not just possible, but likely: I will have to imbibe an cups of wine before doing this. Things could get a bit slurry, so here’s a pronunciation key to start you off right:
Ausser Lererns = Aussa Lorens
Arrrngeerrrllle = Angelle
Whyzishapn = “Why is this happening?”
Butterns! = “I have forgotten what I am doing but these keys make fun clicking sounds.”
The plan is to post the response video next Tuesday—so you have until Sunday evening to submit your questions—Hit us with your best shots.
Have you ever found yourself or your work being discussed online? Has anyone ever accused you of being a liar? And of course—what questions do you have for me? Let’s have some fun with this.
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