Alex and I are looking to make a change. The kind of change that involves a moving van and selling our possessions on Craigslist. This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done this– only difference is last time I bought a one-way flight to China and ended up having a nervous breakdown on the 7th floor of my solitary apartment. This time will actually involve things like getting jobs and making a new life and hopefully never ever coming back to this city other than to visit family.
I’m not sure when this will happen, but my entire existence feels like a ticking time bomb. Alex jokes that there will be a huge mushroom cloud behind us when we drive out of town. I can’t help that I like dramatic exits.
Quitting My Job It’s time, you guys. I started out very starry-eyed and optimistic about making a difference in people’s lives. Then I realized the place was infested with predators and survived on a steady diet of negligence. So I went on the offense and tried to start a revolution. I tried to usurp the throne, expose the truth, and all sorts of other vigilante-related nonsense. But it didn’t work. Because the system exists to protect it’s own bullshit. I have to let it go and get out.
Getting Away From My Ex Assuming he hasn’t already died of old age, I’m guessing my ex still wants to kill me. I know he’s been distracted by ruining other women’s lives but I have a feeling I’m still on his list of people to visit when he goes on a killing spree. The fact I still live in a place where a handful of people sent and received photos of my naked body just makes me itch inside. I need a new city. One where people don’t have evidence of how much skinnier I used to be. I mean, one where I wasn’t a victim of sexual violence. Same same.
Putting Distance Between Me and My Parents I wrote a 7-page letter to my Mom asking her to stop shaming me into having a relationship with my asshole father. She told me she completely understood and then waited until the day before my wedding to beg (again) that I let him come. I had lunch with her three days ago (and ran into the guy who called me a 10-Goat-Girl) and she asked why Alex has never come to the house to meet my Dad. What? This seems like the sort of familial dynamic that can only be saved by a few hundred miles of distance.
The Guy Who Lives Two Miles Away From Me Arguably the worst thing that’s ever happened to me was done by someone who still lives two miles from me. I’m sure he doesn’t know this. But I know this. Because I’m creepy as fuck.
That Random Ass Stalker I still remember Gooseberry at the most ridiculous of times. Alex and I got drunk in South Africa and I started freaking out in a sleuthy sort of way, like “who was it? How is this real? How can I live the rest of my life not knowing?” I still think it was either a guy my dad hired or some psychopath who is now in jail (or at our hospital) but on the off chance he’s just been too lazy to keep up his habits, I think I need to make it a little more difficult for him to track me down.
Despite the monumental messes I leave in my wake, there’s just something to be said for shaking up your life. I need a new place, a new view out my window. I need new speed limits to exceed, new places to get lost, and new people to complicate my life. Except for you guys. I plan to on keeping you forever.
Have you ever made a cross-country move? What would you like to escape from? In what ways are you shaking up YOUR life?
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