I’ve been living in Denver for about three weeks now, which means I’ve been unemployed for about a month. Theoretically I am hunting for a job– it’s just hard to find anywhere that wants to pay me thousands of dollars to do the things I love: Judging people, online stalking, and investing in weird hipster art. Until I find a new 8-5 I’ve been keeping myself busy in other ways:
1. Learning All About Colorado Fashion
It’s all about the layers here. When I first arrived, I didn’t own a pair of boots or a coat. But I DID have my Harry Potter robe, yoga pants, and at least one sweater.
2. Embracing The Cold
I’ve started a lot of new projects since I’ve gotten here. But this is the only thing I’ve finished. It’s all part of my zen.
3. Not Accepting Friend Requests on Facebook
I’m always behind on accepting friend requests (you can always add me if you’re a real person and not too much of a perv) because I have to take the time to figure out whether people are real or not. Patricia Patricia didn’t quite make the cut.
4. Making Alex Throw Away Clothing From 1998.
I’m not sure how Alex keeps hoarding middle school clothing, but every so often I’ll see something in our closet and be like “How do you still own this?!” Then I make him put it on so he can see why it really really needs to be re-gifted to someone who’s searching Goodwill for ironic ‘throwback’ costumes.
I have to wait until Alex leaves for work before I can crank the thermostat up to 112. Until then, the house is cold, which means I have a hard time getting out of bed. I asked the people of Facebook to convince me– instead, I ended up with over 40 comments telling me not to move. You guys are my favorite enablers.
6. Trying To Save Money
On some level it’s kind of scary to no longer have an income– so I’m trying to be thrifty. And by “thrifty” I mean buying discounted k-cups because it’s better to spend $7 than $12 for a tiny box of earth-destroying convenience. Until you realize they have sugar and milk in them and you have to spit it back in the mug while your husband watches in horror and decides to never have sex with you again.
Thankfully I have a sponsor this month, so I can pretend like I’m some sort of professional over here. Have you checked them out yet? They’re Knot so Subtle— a magazine for women, by women. Not sure about you guys, but I’m a big fan of women.
What’s going on in YOUR life? Are you ready for Winter? What poor choices would you like us to enable you for?
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