Facebook is all about marriages and babies and other good news. But every so often it shares AMAZING news, like the fact that someone is getting a divorce. It’s probably not healthy to feel elated over the end of a marriage– but what if it’s someone who hurt you in the past?
I found out the other night that a guy who easily ranks as The Worst Thing That’s Ever Happened To Me is getting a divorce. It has nothing to do with me but I’m pretty sure the end of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture started playing, some woodland creatures sewed me a new dress, and I lost 20 pounds.
It was magical.
When people hurt us, we’re told to take the high road. We walk away with our heads held high and tell ourselves “the best revenge is to go on and live a happy life.”
But in the back of your mind you’re plotting. You want to hurt them more than they hurt you. Break their kneecaps, bust their windows, send an anonymous letter. Or, if you’re me, you wish you’d at least bothered to raise your voice and tell him exactly how you felt. To tell someone, anyone, anything.
While I was gone, I did what every warm blooded human does and used Facebook to keep tabs on him. Every happy photo made my skin crawl. I watched him get married only four months after I left. I watched him start a family and graduate from law school. It made me sick.
You know that saying– Hating someone is like drinking poison and expecting it to hurt the other person? Well, I drank that poison you guys.
He made it particularly hard not to. He was thousands of miles away, newly married, newly a father, and he never left me alone. I changed my e-mail and blocked his number, but it was years before he finally stopped trying to get a response. Even with the silence, he was on my radar. Anytime he came to mind I’d burn with resentment that he dared to live a happy life.
It’s only been the last couple years that I’ve stopped thinking about him on a regular basis. I was busy keeping up my end of the deal on “living a happy life.” Then about three months ago I found a message from him in my Message Requests folder on Facebook:
I started laughing hysterically. Why couldn’t this guy fall off a cliff already? I left his message unanswered in Facebook Siberia and mostly forgot about it until last week, when his wife popped up on my newsfeed via a mutual friend. Everyone was commenting on her photo about how she was “strong” and “brave” and they were there for her. That could only mean one thing. I googled him and sure enough they’re getting a divorce.
I was smug. as. hell.
I quickly sent a mental message back to 2010 Aussa: “Stay the course. Don’t do anything psycho. This all works out for you.”
Time and time again, the world shows me that people get what’s coming to them. I always felt bad for the girl who married him and I hope somewhere in the future she’s also feeling triumphant and sending herself the same mental message: “This all works out for you.”
Sometimes it sucks that we have to share this world with the people who’ve wronged us. But there’s enough space for us to move forward, away from the scorched earth, and towards everything we deserve. I’m doing my best to never drink any poison, but if you hear the faint sound of fireworks and applause, that’s just me over here. Winning.
Have you ever celebrated a divorce? Who from your past won’t leave you alone? What do you think is the best revenge?
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