Confession time: I’ve been cheating on you for the last month or so. You may have noticed the distance, or maybe you’re totally caught off guard and never saw this coming– regardless, it is what it is.
I’m writing a book.
I’ve been working on it since mid-June and am 28,092 words into my HORRIBLY rough first draft. I was feeling pretty legit impressed with that number until I went back and looked at my original outline and realized it was almost 40,000 words in and of itself so I haven’t even beat my own record of writing horrible slosh that I hope will eventually arrange itself into something people might actually want to read.
My goal is to finish the first draft by October 1st. This is totally doable– Except my #1 talent in life is procrastinating on things I know I should be doing. Here are some of my favorite ways to NOT write a book:
- Create extensive playlists that correspond to the various decades and moods of my life.
- Bulk unsubscribe from the 9 million daily emails I get from places that want to sell me shoes for $19 and/or be my life coach for the low price of a $237 two-week course.
- Research how tax brackets work.
- Reorganize my bathroom drawers because this will help me develop a deep inner peace that will translate into a greater ability to write words.
I’m suddenly consumed by a need to find out how many words I’ve written for Hacker.Ninja.Hooker.Spy. This seems like a pretty legit way to waste precious writing time.
Let’s see how well I do. It’s 8:03PM. I’ll be right back.
(1 hour and 17 minutes later)
I’ve written 426,112 words on this site since October 2013. That’s four times longer than my word count goal for my first draft.
While we’re discussing numbers (which we all know I’m not good at) let’s not forget the 46,947 comments that have been left on here over the last two and a half years. Sure, about five of those were written by cheeto-crusted basement fingers, but the rest were thoughtful, hilarious, and heartbreaking pieces of your life that you chose to share with me.
You guys have written more comments than I’ve written words towards my book. So obviously we’ve got a good thing going/I REALLY need to get to work.
I’ll try to be more consistent with my posting because I have a bevy of ridiculous things to share with you. But this seemed important to share. You’ve stayed with me through court cases, engagements, family drama, and cross-country moves. I hope you’ll stick around while I finally try to make a book happen.
Instead of writing a book
I decided to create an e-mail group for people who are interested in not missing it. I probably won’t send a single e-mail for the next decade because I’ll be too busy throwing wine glasses at the wall and screaming “Why didn’t anyone tell me how horrible it is to be a writer?”
This is the list I’ll use to make any book announcements/find beta readers for early drafts/send advanced reader copies/ask to live in your house when Alex is like “why didn’t anyone tell me how horrible it is to be married to a writer?”
You can get on the list here.
In the meantime, let’s do this thing.
What exciting announcements do you have to share? Do you have any procrastination ideas for me?
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