My family has been through a lot. I won’t list everything here because I need you to buy my memoir someday + there’s always a chance I could suffer a loss of income and I don’t want to give away blackmail material for free.
So for now we’ll just say it’s a lot.
Despite the drama— torn down doors, a quietly whispered “fuck you” at the dinner table– I thought we’d grown closer over the years, forming an unbreakable bond that would last to the ends of the earth.
But apparently not.
I started watching the last season of Orange is the New Black a few weeks before Thanksgiving, as a way of distracting myself from life’s ambitions. I was hoarding them like a shipwrecked sailor on his last jar of Nutella, only allowing myself one episode a week.
Then Thanksgiving happened.
It started with “we’ve missed you!” and moved towards “I can’t believe you voted for that child-molesting dyke” and ended with Alex and I driving back to Denver without a single morsel of turkey to digest. Still, I thought we could come back from this. That was until I sat down– wine in one hand, cheezits in the other– and queued up Netflix.
Only there was an error.
“This can’t be right,” I thought. “Netflix has never failed me. Even in communist China where I had to evade government censorship, it was always there for me.”
But there was no denying the truth of what had happened: My brother changed his Netflix password. There’s no way this is a coincidence. He hit me exactly where he knew it would hurt the most. Now how am I supposed to watch every single episode of The Office for the 96th time? How am I supposed to watch documentaries that made me want to be vegan for like 5 minutes?
I just don’t know. All that is gone now, along with any hope for reconciliation with my family. This hurts more than that time my father emailed me that I’d been written out of his will. Back then I’d responded with the 2009 equivalent of “delete your account,” but this is new territory and I’m not really sure how to feel about this fresh estrangement.
At least we still have Amazon Prime Video.
Have you had to deal with petty drama in your family? Is there something I should add to my streaming binge list?
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