Do you ever space out for a second and then look around and wonder “wait, how did I get where I am right now?” Well that’s what happened to me a few days ago when I found myself reading some ass-backwards post from a Facebook page called “The Transformed Wife.”
I don’t have a problem with people who don’t go to college, or anyone who stays at home with their kids.
“I’m sure there are many other things young women can do besides spending a boatload of money on an expensive education in which few ever use their degree.”
Right, because instead you could be a “tudor.” Not only did you misspell a word that only has five letters in it, but you misspelled a word that literally means “to educate,” in a post about how an education is unnecessary because you won’t use it.
I’m going to need a dry erase board in order to diagram all the ways you’re demonstrating the antithesis of your point.
Also. Can you give me your source on “few ever use their degree?” Is this from the book of Deuteronomy? Was it something your tudor mentioned? Oh wait. I bet a #GodlyMan told you this, which definitely makes it true. I’ll tell you how I use my degree: By applying for jobs that require a degree and have a salary higher than the cost of my “expensive education.”
I don’t think it’s actually the money or degree you’re so worried about. I think the real fear here is that when people go away to University they often broaden their experience and understanding of the world and its people– which doesn’t bode well for those who prefer to put on blinders and wallow in their ignorance.
“Encourage your daughters to want to marry and raise godly offspring by being keepers at home. If you don’t, the culture will convince them to be career women.”
I remember when I was a senior in high school and a lady at my church told me—after finding out I wanted to be a writer—that she’d pray for God to change my heart so I’d desire what was good for me: A husband and children I could stay home with.
Hard pass. I’ve already had a front row seat to the Duggar life. In my family, Mom passionately railed against daycare as a great immorality because it encouraged women to subvert their calling: To humbly support your husband—the head of the family—and raise kids in a Godly home that resists the lures and temptations of The World.
So what does a woman do when she’s devoted decades to Being a Keeper at Home only to discover she’s labored under a delusion, while her husband double-dipped in The World with a double life?
Well, obviously you just act as though everything is fine and keep on telling other people to live a life just like yours.
Consult my Mom: A home economics major (because when you’re Southern Baptist, college is where you go to find a husband), with no professional work history, but lots of experience serving in the church(‘s kitchen) while mentoring younger women. Her Godly Wife resume was solid, especially with all the books and articles my Dad wrote about Christian Parenting.
When it came out that her husband was simultaneously serving as a Church Elder and engaging in dozens of extramarital affairs with other guys, my Mom’s message only strengthened. Standing by your man means so much more when you’re facing trials foisted upon you by The World. Except I don’t think the Bible was talking about actual legal TRIALS for things like solicitation and “engaging in lewd behavior in public.” But look how devoted she got to be– prayerfully submitting through the repeated betrayals, gospel-drenched lies, and epic gaslighting.
Because I’ll tell you what isn’t an option in a situation like hers: You don’t leave. I mean, why would you, when your entire life exists as a prop to support a man? If he treats you terribly it’s just a bonus, because the more you endure, the godlier you are. (Wait a second… This seems like a system that disproportionately benefits men over women. I wonder who came up with it.)
But even if you wanted to leave—how could you? Volunteer work and taking online herbal classes probably won’t pay the bills.
I think I get it now. Remember in Jurassic Park when the humans realized the dinosaurs “test the fences” and then later realize they’re in huge trouble because the velociraptors have figured out how to open doors? People who spout ideology like The Transformed Wife are terrified their women will test the fences and suddenly realize they’re capable of opening doors and going places other than those they’ve been permitted.
It’s not hard to understand why people are much easier to control if you limit their access to education. Even more so if you catch them early enough to convince them it would be a waste of their time and money and—the ultimate trump card—immoral.
Reading that Facebook post, and all the comments (since any dissenting opinions were deleted), made me so glad I married someone who thinks my existence is more than window dressing for his far more interesting and important life. Growing up, I didn’t know a single person who had a marriage that looked like anything I might want to be a part of.
Thankfully, I learned to test the fences.
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