I have fairly simple goals for this earth-dwelling life. I’d like to experience everything that interests me, see the entire world and how other humans live in it, and basically do whatever I want almost all the time. But sometimes the world gives you an accomplishment you didn’t foresee wanting, though clearly couldn’t have lived without once it happens.
Such as having a really successful tweet.
Yes, I know, most of my professional colleagues are like “I got published in such and such fancy journal” or “I just got a grant for one miiiiillion dollars,” and all my writer friends are like “check out this kickass byline” and “my book topped the NYT bestsellers list” but I’m like HOLD MY BEER because this thing got like 2k retweets, and many of them from heroes like Jessica Valenti, Margaret Cho, and Amanda Seales.
And if that’s not enough, it’s also been forever immortalized in cross-stitch by @badasscrossstitch on Instagram and re-grammed by what feels like everyone with an iPhone. This is basically the closest I will ever come to having anything to do with traditional womanly hobbies.
I think this is a sign from The Universe that I should spend less time writing and more time tweeting. Because I’m technically on a six-week sabbatical from Facebook (the ruiner of productivity) and even though I’ve held strong to my moral convictions and resisted the urge to log on and scroll, I now unlock my iPhone and stare at it with all the misplaced wistfulness of Alex peering into our barren refrigerator. Though of course Facebook isn’t ready to let me go, which is why they send me daily emails letting me know “what I’ve missed.” I’m not gonna lie– seeing “380 notifications, 49 messages, and 10 pokes” is fairly terrifying though mostly because I didn’t realize you could still poke people on Facebook.
It’s probably good that I’m not on there because apparently people are stealing the meme and removing my name and this is something I should be very upset about. But my ability to get upset about shite people on Facebook is at an all time low, especially since I now feel like the newly minted princess of the 72 character hot take. Or something.
And here I thought twitter was just for complaining about sub-par sandwich delivery and public restroom interactions.
What have you done lately to leave your mark? Have you ever taken a break from social media? What are your life goals because clearly this is a serious discussion?
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