In honor of all the photos everyone keeps sharing of their offspring on the first day of school, Alex and I got tipsy last night and tried to remember if we actually learned anything in school. I grew up in a world where the godliest amongst us would never send their kids to public school, lest they be exposed to inappropriate messages like coloring sheets that don’t include humans riding on the backs of dinosaurs. But as much as I’m like hashtag thank a teacher, I’m also a little worried.
I began working full time when I was nineteen years old and trying to pay my way through college. During these initial phases of employment I quickly realized I wasn’t the only one who hadn’t learned anything in public school, as two of my coworkers believed Alaska was an island just like Hawaii, and that both were floating somewhere near (or on top of?) Mexico. We were fully independent adult type humans with 401k(s) and health insurance policies but HOW IN GOD’S NAME HAD THEY NEVER STOPPED TO WONDER WHY ONE ISLAND HAD TROPICAL BEACHES AND THE OTHER WAS FULL OF SNOW AND POLAR BEARS?
Possibly because no one ever taught them how to actually think.
I’m trying to figure out where it all went wrong, because while many of us learned how to read in Kindergarten or First Grade, the comments left beneath articles on Facebook would indicate most of us have forsaken this skill.
Here’s what I do remember learning in elementary school: [Read more…]
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