A couple months ago my boss invited me and a few other coworkers out for a drink. I told her I was on antibiotics, because the Bible says it’s okay to lie when faced with horrifying social encounters. The last time she’d asked to go for a drink I told her I had other plans—so she had me leave work at 3PM because obviously I didn’t have any plans to do anything while I was at work.
This last time, all but two of my coworkers got out of it. A couple hours later, I got a text from our CFO.
“Omg Boss peed in a cup at the table lol”
I expressed the obligatory “holy shit” and asked who else was there. She told me our Director of Social Work was sitting next to her when she did it.
“She just dropped ‘em and went for it.”
>>HOLD ON A SEC<<
1. I’ve been to this bar many times—it’s well lit and the sort of place where people dine with their children before 9PM. It’s not some squatty-enabled dive bar where people snort lines of coke in the bathroom.
2. I’ve also been drunk many times—and I have never EVER peed in a cup. At a restaurant. While sitting at a table.
I had to ask the obvious question:
“What did she do with the cup of pee?!”
“It’s just sitting here on the table lol” [Read more…]
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