Psych Ward Archives - Aussa Lorens

Writer, essayist, and terribly curious human being

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𝙒𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙏𝙮𝙥𝙚 𝙃𝙪𝙢𝙖𝙣.

I beat Alex at skee-ball, BOW DOWN BETCHES. Just k

I beat Alex at skee-ball, BOW DOWN BETCHES. Just kidding, most of you are lovely and I don’t even like that word.

Please, I beg of you. STOP.

Please, I beg of you. STOP.

I still have to war against my own brain to accept

I still have to war against my own brain to accept that it's okay for me to intentionally seek good things for myself. So much of my upbringing, and the people I was around, was focused on suffering for the sake of suffering and intentionally denying yourself what you want because that would somehow make you a more admirable person. ⁠
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Any talk of growth or self-improvement was so thoroughly mocked that I almost cringe to even *like* a meme like this because it feels cheesy and self-indulgent. ⁠
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But the name of my game for 2020 is self-indulgence, so here we go.

When we were planning our trip to India I was like

When we were planning our trip to India I was like "do we really need to see the Taj Mahal? I mean, is it cliche?" <-- so there you go, proof I am still prone to terrible decision making. Because, yes. You should always see the Taj Mahal when the Taj Mahal is on offer. ⁠
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#ThrowbackThursday

You mean silent and non-intrusive? I can do that.

You mean silent and non-intrusive? I can do that. ⁠
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KiddingKiddingKidding.

Oh hi there, didn't see you on the ceiling.

Oh hi there, didn't see you on the ceiling.

I don’t know why anyone has anything negative to

I don’t know why anyone has anything negative to say about millennials. We’re just over here trying to find a way to combine putt-putt + 🍻+ trippy black lights + yummy snacks + aliens.

From one of my top three favorite books of all tim

From one of my top three favorite books of all time. 🖤⁠
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#1. Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis⁠
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#2. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers⁠
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aaaaaaaand I'm not sure who gets the #3 slot. I think I need to stand in my office and spin in a circle until my eyes magically land on the right bookshelf. ⁠
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What are your top three favorites?

There is a version of me that had many things to s

There is a version of me that had many things to say about this New Year. Or, more specifically, about New Year’s Eve 2009, and what it feels like inside my body to know that night was 10 years ago.
That version of me was unable to show up for the internet, but the version of me that’s writing this post is a big believer in do overs, so maybe I’ll get there eventually.

Anyways. Having just read the last page of Know My Name by Chanel Miller, I now have an overwhelming desire to reach through whatever screen you’re reading this on and place a copy of this book— written by the woman who wrote the viral victim impact statement in Brock Turner’s sexual assault case— into your hands.
But that would be inconsiderate. Because this book is a lot. It’s taken me over a month to get through it and I’m a committed reader. A real badass, whatever.
I wouldn’t have been able to read this book 10 years ago, 9 years ago, 8 years ago, 7 years ago, 6 years ago, 5 years ago, 4 years ago, or 3 years ago. The last two years have been different. And if I am capable of producing one reluctant emotion or thought for you today, it’s to suggest that maybe you should read this book. Perhaps not today or this year or the next 10 years but someday.

There are 357 pages. On Page 138, the author speaks of her mother, who grew up in China during the Cultural Revolution before moving to the states and having a family in California: “When I listened to her, I understood: You have to hold out to see how your life unfolds, because it is most likely beyond what you can imagine. It is not a question of if you will survive this, but what beautiful things await you when you do. I had to believe her, because she was living proof. Then she said, ‘Good and bad things come from the universe holding hands. Wait for the good to come.’” I am also living proof. Please believe me, believe her, and believe the part of yourself that knows this is true. Sometimes we have to wait for it, but the good will come.

Hands down (*badum-ching*) one of the most amazing

Hands down (*badum-ching*) one of the most amazing places I've ever been. We spent hours just wandering from temple to temple out in the jungle and didn't see a single other foreigner-- until we came to some random temple full of middle aged white people on pilgrimage, touching their foreheads and bowing to a shrine. I was all "When in India" but Alex grasped me by both shoulders and steered me away before I was recruited into (yet another) cult. ⁠
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#ThrowbackThursday to January 2018.

You've never seen a human more pleased with hersel

You've never seen a human more pleased with herself than I am in those precious moments after I make my own hummus.

Lord of The Rings-athon has begun— started at 8:

Lord of The Rings-athon has begun— started at 8:45AM, on target to end by 9PM— hope the rest of you are enjoying your new healthy lives, I shan’t be leaving this couch today.

Happy 2020! Hope it all works out.

Happy 2020! Hope it all works out.

Oh hey, actually wrote something on the old blog t

Oh hey, actually wrote something on the old blog today: The 70 Books I Read in 2019 📚 What should I add to my list for 2020 (because YOU KNOW I already have a list🤓)? Link in bio (sort of I guess, you’ll find your way) #amreading #bookstagram #booksbooksbooks #booksof2019

South Africa, 2015. #ThrowbackThursday

South Africa, 2015. #ThrowbackThursday

You can't really tell from the photo, but I'm stan

You can't really tell from the photo, but I'm standing at the very top of a gigantic waterfall. Somewhere out there in the world is a pair of strangers who took photos of me and Alex from a distance and promised to email them to us once they found WiFi. ⁠
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I forgive you, liars. ⁠
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#ThrowbackThursday

Secret Weapon right here.⁠ ⁠ A little naiveté

Secret Weapon right here.⁠
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A little naiveté and recklessness doesn't hurt either. 😅

I would make a list for you, but I don't think an

I would make a list for you, but I don't think an Instagram caption can be 800,000 words long?

Throwback, safari style 🦏 We were just driving

Throwback, safari style 🦏 We were just driving along when the Mom Giraffe decided we mattered very little to her and stepped out in front of our car. When she made it to the other side she just stood there, staring back until her baby emerged from the bush and followed after. I have a video of both of them crossing in front of us like strange stilted aliens. ⁠
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Trigger Warning: Very pretentious analogy coming.⁠
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Alex and I always talk about how certain things in life are "like a giraffe on safari." That is-- the first giraffe you see, you're like "OMG LOOK A GIRAFFE" but after a dozen or so you're just like "oh okay it's a giraffe again." ⁠
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And yet. When these two walked out in front of us it was a moment of perfect awe. Their indifference toward us only made it a thousand times better. ⁠
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#ThrowbackThursday

I know, I know. It's a random happy meme on Instag

I know, I know. It's a random happy meme on Instagram. But, it's for real. I never thought there was ever an alter-Aussa who was like "I ONLY WANT BAD THINGS" and yet... ⁠
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Happy she's no longer in charge of my life or my social media.⁠
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Image via @thefemalewarhol

Undoubtedly the last photo you will see of me outd

Undoubtedly the last photo you will see of me outdoors until next May. At the earliest.

Alex and I were in our seldom visited city-of-orig

Alex and I were in our seldom visited city-of-origin for a wedding this weekend, so last night we went out and re-created our first date. I made him park in the same spot I parked, so we could use the same crosswalk where we technically met for the first time. Earlier this year he told me his first impression of me was “tall assertively striding girl.” It was strange magic to sit across from each other and acknowledge how this same oversized booth in a sticky downtown bar was where both our lives became immensely better in one night. We’ve now been so many places together— Nepal, South Africa, Ecuador, India, Spain, Uganda, Germany, Costa Rica, Rwanda, Morocco— but this was the first one.

🌟where the magic happens🌟

🌟where the magic happens🌟

Throwback to August 2015 and the Panorama Route in

Throwback to August 2015 and the Panorama Route in South Africa. That was the first trip where Alex and I rented a car and just hoofed it around an entire country on our own. Fair to say we are now thoroughly addicted. #ThrowbackThursday

Alex doesn't know how to cut an avocado and it's t

Alex doesn't know how to cut an avocado and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Welcome to December— my favorite month because I

Welcome to December— my favorite month because I will work approximately six of the next thirty days. Bless it. 🙏🏼

Mood for all of 2020. Watch out.

Mood for all of 2020. Watch out.

✨Magic Light✨

I almost didn’t bother taking a photo of our ten

I almost didn’t bother taking a photo of our tent last night because the light was “bad” and would be better in the morning. WELL. Let me just say: no photos were taken this morning. And if they had been, they would be of me wailing and stumbling about in a blind rage because it was supposed to be 56 degrees last night but I’m pretty sure it was more like 5 or 6 degrees. 😧🥶😭

Pretty sure there’s a 100% chance I posted an al

Pretty sure there’s a 100% chance I posted an almost identical photo from this spot one of the previous three times we camped here. But whatever. Judge your mother.

Well this settles it. Japan is now on the short li

Well this settles it. Japan is now on the short list.

We’re in downtown Denver and yet feel so far awa

We’re in downtown Denver and yet feel so far away. It’s the best feeling.

Me: How many photos of the moon is too many photos

Me: How many photos of the moon is too many photos of the moon?
Lindsey Lohan: THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST!

Gorgeous photo taken whilst thrashing about the fl

Gorgeous photo taken whilst thrashing about the floor of our tent, trying to “sweep” sand up with a bone dry baby wipe.

I’m just a girl/standing beneath the moon/taking

I’m just a girl/standing beneath the moon/taking 85 million bad photos with my old ass iPhone

Alex and I spent four hours in these hammocks yest

Alex and I spent four hours in these hammocks yesterday. At moments we’d go quiet and then he’d be like “I’m having judgmental thoughts” and I’d pop up like a groundhog because if you ever want to abduct me just park a tinted van with JUDGMENTAL THOUGHTS sprayed on the side and I’ll hop right in.

Last new moon camping trip of the summer. 🌚

Last new moon camping trip of the summer. 🌚

Beautiful view on a sad day.

Beautiful view on a sad day.

Don’t be a monster. Swipe left to see a tiny sno

Don’t be a monster. Swipe left to see a tiny snowman. ⛄️

Me: Ugh I hate it when random strangers talk to me

Me: Ugh I hate it when random strangers talk to me while I’m trying to commune with nature and elevate my soul.
Also Me: Hey, hey, hey guys, GUYS LOOK ITS KING OF THE MARMOTS

Whatever today’s date is is the day Alex and I f

Whatever today’s date is is the day Alex and I finally managed to get out of bed early enough to make it above the tree line. Yay, us 🏔

At some point while we were hiking, Alex looked ar

At some point while we were hiking, Alex looked around and said “I think we’re the oldest people up here.” Not sure whether inspirational or depressing— but a gaggle of youths referred to us as a “power couple.” I’ll take it.

Last time we came to Sand Dunes the river wasn’t

Last time we came to Sand Dunes the river wasn’t flowing and I felt like I’d been a victim of some elaborate hoax involving everyone I knew as well as the entirety of the internet. Nice to know that’s not true 🌊

At the top of the highest dune we met a man who’

At the top of the highest dune we met a man who’d taken LSD. “I can’t even describe it.” Me neither, dude.

Couldn’t make it to the summit because of ⚡️

Couldn’t make it to the summit because of ⚡️⚡️⚡️Thankfully I’m just as excited by whatever nature mishmash I find beneath my feet.

Image #74281 from my forthcoming exhibit: “Photo

Image #74281 from my forthcoming exhibit: “Photos of Alex in Nature”

Our inability to get out of bed before 9AM is affe

Our inability to get out of bed before 9AM is affecting our ability to summit before the storms hit.
Alex called it “a thunder hike through the dark woods.” Can’t complain.

It’s too bad I’m so helpless, because the temp

It’s too bad I’m so helpless, because the temptation to just find a nice little cave and live up here is strong.

Obviously I had to take a photo of my shoes in nat

Obviously I had to take a photo of my shoes in nature.

So this used to be a beach for an inland sea. It d

So this used to be a beach for an inland sea. It doesn’t matter how many times I learn about this, I’m still 🤯

I was sitting here trying to think up a caption fo

I was sitting here trying to think up a caption for this photo. Something very meaningful, a touch spiritual. Then I overheard a woman telling someone else her daughter’s name is “Bri-Elle” and Alex turned to me and said “it’s not her fault but her parents are morons.”

Me, to strangers: hey would you like me to take a

Me, to strangers: hey would you like me to take a photo of both of you?
Me, to myself: Wow if I were a criminal I could skim their banking info off this unlocked phone right now, hmm. *snaps photo*
Have a great day!

Last night we went to the top of a hill in the dar

Last night we went to the top of a hill in the dark and met an astronomer with a telescope that costs more than my net worth. He showed us Jupiter with its four moons, a neutron star that ate a dead star, and two galaxies colliding 30 million years ago while telling us we are made of star dust.
So don’t mind me I’ll just be over here enjoying how great it is to feel so small.

I want to blame the crazy eyes on the cold but let

I want to blame the crazy eyes on the cold but let’s be real I was born this way.

Repost @florenceandthemachine Because she gave our

Repost @florenceandthemachine Because she gave our fellow concert goers permission to antagonize us if we got our phones out while she was performing. First, she had us turn to the people next to us, then strangers, and say “I love you.” Then she was like “okay now I’m going to ask you to do something that might make you very uncomfortable, but you just have to trust me...” and told us to put our phones away. “Now you are free.” 😆✌🏼#highashopetour

So, it SNOWED at the Florence + The Machine concer

So, it SNOWED at the Florence + The Machine concert last night. I felt very sorry for myself until I realized she was dancing on stage without any shoes on.
Then I was like... hmmmm I’ll have what she’s having.

New wine tasting/tour experience. What wasn’t a

New wine tasting/tour experience. What wasn’t a new experience: having to drag myself back in the following day to pick up my credit card 🤦🏼‍♀️ It’s been like ten years tho. Blast from the past yayyy

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